It’s been a long time since I’ve written. I’ve been mourning the passing of my elderly mom. She had surprised us many times when it appeared she was close to death, only to find yet another breath that revived her energy and spirit. So, I had said good-bye to her before, but this time it was for real.
On the last day that she talked and had her eyes open, I told her that I was sorry that she felt so badly. She was wheezing, her chest sounded terrible, and her good eye was starting to become glazed. Yet, she looked sweetly into my face and said, “Oh, I’m pretty good.” And she meant it.
That was her approach to life. “Oh, I’m pretty good.” “I think about other people and realize I have it pretty good.” Over the last few years of her life as she needed increasing amounts of assistance, whenever someone did anything to help her, she would say “Thank you kindly.” People loved to help her as she was exceptionally appreciative. She gave a great gift to those around her by being naturally kind, gracious and accepting of others.
Her impact on others was apparent on her the last day of her life as family, friends, and those you have cared for her over the years came to say good-bye. It seemed that people didn’t want to leave–there was extraordinary love in the room. It couldn’t have been a more beautiful end to her physical life.
I will be in the grief process with all its range of emotion, appreciation, awe and mystery for the forseeable future . One of the many great gifts that accompanies me on this journey is the experience of grace that has supported and enveloped this life transition experience. I think of Grace as being attuned to whatever arises while being fully met by the Divine. We are not alone.
I know that many of you have had your own experiences of grief, and even now may be experiencing the loss of someone or something precious to you. It may be helpful to know that I have found great solace in the awakening work of the Enneagram. If you have a question about how the Enneagram can support your own grief process, feel free to contact me.
I will be returning to writing my regular blogs soon. In the meantime, blessings to you all.
Roxanne
