When I was in my late 20′s, my husband of a couple of years and I decided to move across the country for new career opportunities. A colleague of my husband asked me, “Why are you really moving?” Hmm–why were we moving? Well, I thought it was for new position, but it gave me pause. She said something that I have never forgotten: Just remember, you take yourself wherever you go.” Once I began studying the Enneagram, I realized that she was talking about the unrecognized activity of the ego. She was referring to the automatic patterns that take take us away from our true nature.
I’ve spent years exploring the personality, coaching, teaching and being an observer of the human experience, and have discovered that there is a part in each of us that can be very sneaky in creating ways to ‘try’ to get away from ourselves. Of course, that’s the nature of the ego. It is conditioned to take us away from ourselves, from our deepest truth. (This is not about making the ‘ego’ bad–we will always have one. The problem is when it ‘has me’ rather than me having it!)
Depending upon our Enneagram personality configuration, for example, we might spend our lives being on the go, and not staying with any one experience for any length of time. Perhaps our pattern is to figure everything out in our heads. Perhaps we are in a constant competition with ourselves, setting the bar higher and higher, trying to ‘best’ ourselves. Perhaps we question everything and focus on why something could never work. Perhaps we focus our attention on others, and look for ways that we can be helpful. These are just a few strategies that different egoic structures use. If the patterns are not brought into clear awareness and not interrupted, the cost is high. We feel lost, disconnected, and alone.
Regardless of where we move to, or what job or position we take, or who we marry or divorce, or what new skils we learn, or how much money we earn, the automatic activity of the ego and all of its suffering and problems do go with us—-until we see it all for what it is.
Many of my students and clients who are in transition in their lives have come to recognize this truth. “If I continue these particular behaviors, emotional patterns and ideas about myself (and that are associated with my Enneagram type), I will just take them to my next position/to my next relationship/to the rest of my life.” Nothing of real significance will have changed.
Of course, what we also take with us who our True Nature. And, truly, it is right here, right now. As the patterns of my type relax, the more I come into contact with my realness, my ‘hereness,’ my innate aliveness, and my inherent sense of belonging, Now, to take THIS with you is no small thing. This is worth being Here.
My classes, workshops, and retreats are all designed to ORIENT YOU TO YOUR TRUE NATURE. Here are my current offerings: www.lifewisecoaching.com.
Roxanne
