Inner Critic–Moving Beyond the Idea of the Gremlin

I’ve had have the great fortune of facilitating an amazing group over the past several years in a monthly Women’s Enneagram collaborative. The last couple of months we’ve been focusing on changing our relationship to the Inner Critic. Essentially, rather than taking the I.C. to be “real,” we see it for what it is–a central part of the ego’s structure that can take up enormous space in the psyche, and that can consume inordinate amounts of energy. Like the rest of the ego structure, it is trying to substitute for that which truly is real and eternal within us, which of course, it can’t.

Thus, as we grow in our awareness of how this particular ‘structure’ operates, we come to the stunning realization that there is a different kind of relationship to be had with the I.C. rather than taking it to be the truth, ‘making it bad,’ or ‘getting into a struggle with it” as if it was real. That’s why I use the word “structure’ —the I.C. can be seen as more of an “It” that operates on automatic rather than a ‘he/she/they’ that has been personified, taken personally.

I thnk we have to be careful about characterizing the I.C. as a “gremlin” or “that entity that sits on my shoulder,” because this is a way that we give it a sense of realness, and give it more power.

To work with the Inner Critic requires being able to notice when one is “at the effect” of its structure. There are lots of clues if we know what to look for. They show up mentally, somatically, emotionally, energetically and spiritually. Once we recognize them, then we can begin the process of stepping back from it, Unhooking from it, dis-identifying with it as something real. That’s when we begin to experience our inner authority.

And then, we have the courage to face the I.C.’s message, sort through all the falseness of its noise, and find if there is perhaps a Gem of Truth that is at the very core of the message. Finding this Gem helps us continue to grow and evolve.

Last night, I saw the women’s eyes opening wide.  For most, it was the first time seeing the Inner Critic as a gift.  Indeed, it can point you to something valuable, as long as you don’t get caught in the first wave of its automatic and egoic activity. Name it, call it out, distance yourself from the negativity or from its arrogance, as it shows up differently for different people depending upon one’s dominant Enneagram type.  Then, with clarity and curiosity, see if there is a gem to be found.